Neca and I weave our way through the market without a word. More than once, I duck behind him to avoid conversations with loyal clientele about how they’ll never get along without me. Upon exiting the market, our silence grows awkward.
For the first time, Neca is the sullen one.
I begin to suspect he’s on to my intentions. Wanting to extend his life rather than frustrate it, I make the first move. “Thanks for saving us at the warehouse.”
He grunts.
“I’m serious. It means more than I can say.”
He nods slightly, still refusing to look at me.
“I mean, at a time when Yetic turned tail, you risked your life for me and Olin. No audience, no cage.”
He finally looks up, his eyes watery.
I take his hand. “Whatever happens tonight, you showed true courage then.”
“Hey,” he winks, a weak smile on his lips, “it’s all in a day’s work for a chadzitzin psych-fighter.”
I shake my head. “You’ll always be much more than that.”
“I’m a pretty good smuggler too. Not to mention totally hot.”
“Don’t let it go to your head or anything.”
“Oh, I won’t.” He swings my hand in his. “I’m much too much of a realist for that.”
I choke.
“What?”
Recovering, I nod my head vigorously. “Oh, of course, I was just going to say that myself. Neca the realist. Too practical for your own good really. If only I could get you to loosen up.”
We both smile and relax. I close my eyes and enjoy a temporary splash of sunlight as it pours through a gap in the rolling cloud cover. Before we know it, we’ve reached the entrance to the underground.
Neca turns to face me. He holds both of my hands. For a long moment we stand in silence. So much has changed since the last time I stood here. He says, “I’ve already decided this will be my last fight.”
I open my mouth.
He shakes his head and holds a finger to my lips. “I’ve learned almost everything fighting can teach me. This is the perfect way to end this chapter of my life. I need you to understand why. I’ll admit my chances of winning aren’t good. Yetic’s at the top of his game, and Huatiani took more from me than I’ve been able to discover.”
I feel a hot pinch lurking under the surface of my cheeks and at the corners of my eyes. I struggle to hold a steady gaze.
“Losing is the only thing I have left.” He chews the inside of his lip and looks skyward. “It’s the only thing left to learn.”
“Not like this,” I blurt out.
“It’s not your choice to make.”
“But you’re making the wrong one!” I stamp my foot.
He rubs his temples. “It’s one thing to stand down certain defeat spontaneously, when there’s little other choice. I’m glad I stood against Huatiani. I hope I’d do it again. But it’s something else to face defeat willingly, with eyes wide open. I want to know I have the ability to make the right choice in either instance.”
“For what? A verbal agreement Yetic doesn’t have the grace to relinquish?”
He looks me in the eyes. “Your choice is to either accept my decision and accompany me for some dehumanizing procedures you’ll wish you’d never been exposed to, or to say goodbye, Calli Bluehair. These last few days have been interesting, to say the least.” He extends his hand as if to formally grip forearms.
The thought of never seeing Neca again sends shivers throughout my body. “Okay, you win.” I nod my assent. “I won’t bring up the fight.”
“Good.” He offers his hand.
I take it. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to watch.”
“Fair enough.”
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