I think I’ve found my next entrepreneurial venture. With the help of a friend, I’ve discovered a totally under-targeted market for which I am precisely equipped. Adult White Male, or AWM.
While I see a wide range of applications for Adult White Male, AWM’s first targeted marketing campaign will be for medical advocacy. It turns out that doctors overwhelmingly don’t listen to young women, old women, or people of color when they attempt to explain their symptoms or medical condition. Who knew!? I’ve done months of market research and product testing at this point, and it turns out that Adult White Male has an 85.63% success rate* in hospital and clinical settings. (*Success is defined as achieving at least one of the patient’s medical care goals which have been repeatedly ignored without the assistance of AWM.)
This is how Adult White Male will work. If you are not an adult, white male and you find yourself being ignored, overlooked, or discounted in a medical context you simply pull out your smartphone, open up the AWM app, enter your name and your birthdate, agree to allow AWM to temporarily represent you as caregiver, and then receive an approximate estimation of how long it will take the nearest Adult White Male to reach your location.
While you wait, you can enter your credit card information or your medicaid number. You will know when your Adult While Male has arrived because he will enter the lobby with the appropriate amount of “rank and stank” while announcing that he is there as the caregiver for [client name] born [client birthdate]. At this point, simply accompany your Adult White Male to your appointment and say everything you would normally say to your doctor. The only difference is that you will need to pause between every sentence to allow your Adult White Male to repeat what you’ve just said with the medical gravitas that only an Adult White Male can deliver.
I believe the secret sauce for AWM’s success will be to train our Adult White Males with the perfect combination of professionalism, mystery, and entitlement. My research has also revealed that there must be a certain off-putting age gap between the age of the client and the age of the Adult White Male. If the client is in her thirties, then the Adult White Male assisting her should be in his mid-forties or fifties. The goal is to keep the doctor and/or medical staff off-balance and wondering, “Is he her lover or her father?”
Vice versa for older clients; medical staff should be subconsciously wondering if the Adult White Male is the patient’s lover or son. The doctor’s uncertainty of how to address or categorize the Adult White Male doubles the likelihood that the doctor will defer to the Adult White Male’s suggestions for treatment and/or medical care.
Just think of the entrepreneurial opportunities! Need to hire a subcontractor to do a job around the house? Don’t take a bid or host a consultation without Adult White Male! Need to take your car into the shop, text AWM first! If you wish to apply for a position with Adult White Male or open your own regional hub, let me know! (Hmmm, I wonder if my hiring practices could get me into trouble…)
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At the Desk This Week
I’m still tidying up the third season of The Green Ones. I’m pushing through an episode a week and just finished up the third episode (out of six). So, you can probably do that much math. Come on, it’ll be good for you. I’m just about to hit the part of the story where I took a big break and came back after months of not working on it. So…I expect there to be a few more hiccups. We shall see!
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes of Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from The Green Ones until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 100 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy The Green Ones. Happy reading!