This week I return to solving the great linguistic mysteries of the English language, or rather a recent misappropriation of said language that has buffaloed me, or as I like to say, has led to me being quite baffaloed. (It’s okay when I talk wrong. I’m doing it on purpose.)
My most recent befuddlement occurred this week when myself and another neighbor where approached by a professional handyman while we were constructing a wheelchair ramp for a neighbor lady who fell and broke her ankle. Now, my buddy and I are handy. My buddy more so than myself. Between the two of us, we got the chalkline snapping, and the worm-drive-circular saw ripping, and a nice little ramp coming together over the span of a couple hours. Mind you, we’re working double time due to the frigid temperatures and the fact I don’t have proper gloves for this.
Near the end of the building process, this mysterious contractor dude shows up. He appears like a greek god floating in on a cloud…or at least in a professional rig bedecked with ladders. I mean, this guy is clearly legit. He smiles, a pearly glint twinkling off his teeth. He then proceeds to say something like, “Having built dozens of these ramps over the years, it looks like you might want to lower that sleeper by half an inch.” He winks. “But I don’t want to get in your way.”
He begins to fade away much like the famous GIF of Homer Simpson backing into the hedge. But before he disappears, I hear him say, “Good on ya. Thanks for doing this, guys. Good on ya.”
And he’s gone.
It takes me a moment to register what he’s just said. At first, I’m dazzled by the fact he so quickly labeled our current sticking spot as a “sleeper.” Of course, it’s a sleeper. Why hadn’t I been thinking of it as a sleeper? This guy is amazing, right? But my buddy had failed to fall under the professional handyman’s spell. He frowns, looks at me and says, “I can think of a dozen more helpful things a guy who’s built countless other ramps could have offered us than advise.”
He had a point. It wasn’t like this guy didn’t have the tools or the terminology to jump in and help a couple of ramp rooks. All that aside, the thing I continued to muse upon was the expression, “Good on you.”
What the crap, man? What is this even supposed to mean? Good on you? Is it a compliment? Does it mean my work belt hung just right around my waist? or was it a reference to the degree at which my pants, burdened by my work belt, sagged roughly 5/8 of an inch below the apex of my butt crack?
Or is it not intended to be taken literally? Perhaps it’s not a reference to something looking good on me at all. Should I interpret this statement as a grammatically incorrect way of saying “Good for you”? But building the ramp was intended to be good for my neighbor. She’s the one who needs it to get in and out of her house. Or perhaps the professional handyman meant that brisk manual labor in below freezing temperatures appeared to be healthy for my physical countenance. Although, considering the snot-cicles dangling from my mustache, this seems unlikely.
No. Reason would suggest I reject the above considerations to conclude the mystery contractor meant something along the lines of “may good blessings be bestowed upon you by whatever cosmic entity you entreat for the selfless deed you have performed here today.”
On second thought, if the above is indeed the case, I suppose some sort of abbreviation is practical. We can hardly expect the everyday blue collar worker to go around making formal pronouncements of divine blessing. But still, “Good on you?” Whatever happened to the simple head nod? Maybe a handshake and hearty slap on the shoulder. Nothing says, “You done good, son” more than a head nod combined with a shoulder slap. Alas, I suppose this unspoken language of courteous manhood is quickly dying out. In its place perhaps we are left with nothing but trite expressions such as “Get ‘er done” and “Good on ya.”
On final thought, perhaps “Good on ya” was simply this dude’s way of saying, “Thank God, I thought I was gonna have to build this. Carry on. Carry on.”
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