DMB Digest: I respect my totalitarian overlords.
Don't let them get to you too!
This week, I’ve been reminded of the age-old, flip-flopping battle between freedom and security. Around and around we go, where we stop…wait, we’ll never stop. That’s the point.
Let’s take a tally via raise of hands. Who out there is in favor of more freedom? Okay. Now let’s see who is in favor of more security. Wait, you already raised your hand. What are you trying to pull here? Have your cake and have mine too? I see, you’re a grubbing cake thief, aren’t you? Hands off my cake! Authorities!
Sorry, sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t even eat cake. Sugar makes me a bit unstable, you know. My mother says I’m a hyper-hypo. Anywho, oh yes, freedom vs. security. You see, we’re in a bit of a confusing quandary these days. We’ve reached the tipping point where we’ve already given up too many of our freedoms in the name of security, but we haven’t fully come to realize the matter just yet. Thus the split vote. Some still cry out for more security in a dangerous and volatile world, while others have begun to express agitation toward the freedom-stripping nature of suffocating government surveillance and the “big-brother-like” suppression of information.
[static-clicking and a temporary buzzing in the background]
You in the back, sit still or I’ll have you tossed into re-education camp! I’ve had just about enough of your niggling. As I was saying, I respect my robot overlords, and I’m in no way advocating dissent from the all-knowing and all-seeing Lord Kamala-Trump. And it’s time the rest of you fall in line. After all, freedom isn’t free, right? It requires a little oppression totalitarianism stripping of rights stepping back the constitution extra security here and there. And after all, you’re an advocate of freedom, aren’t you? You want the freedom to keep drinking your lattes and eating your cheeseburgers, don’t you? How do you expect to do that in a world dominated by commu-facist-freedom-hating-neo-retro-humanist monsters? Yeah, pretty freaking terrifying, isn’t it? You don’t want to be jumped by a neo-retro-humanist in a dark alley do you? Forget your wife and your children. They never had a chance. Pray for a quick death, because that’s the best hope you got. Ah, but it’s not too late!
An all powerful and all loving regime state can deliver you from those nasty neo-retro-humanist monsters! And even put up an extra street light (and a few extra surveillance cameras) in that dark alley. With facial recognition (and the further erosion of due-process) we’ll be able to lock up those nasty “neotrohums” before they are able to threaten you or anyone you love. And once we’ve fully done away with that annoying first amendment, we’ll be able to shut down any and all neotrohum mis-information campaigns that would spread their dangerous ideology to all you impressionable idiots out there who simply can’t be trusted to think for yourselves. With a few last addendums to our Americanized God-and-Country-Christianity, we’ll be all set. No more pain. No more trouble. No more freedom worry at all.
And won’t that be nice?
From the Desk of DMB
Elections are ramping up again. I don’t know. Does it feel like no one really cares this time around? or is that just me? Lord knows, I don’t care. The Simpson’s have nailed it again with their Kang and Kodos for president episode back in the day (1996). All I’m saying is when the big death ray is brought out after whose-his or whose-her booty wins, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Sugar mines, here we come! At least I’ll exit the world the same way I came in—subversive and hairy.
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