I’m an unabashed fan of trash meat. Not meat taken from the garbage, but meat that remains a mystery while being eaten. Mystery meat, some would call it. I can’t get enough of the stuff (until my doctor tells me I’m about to lose my foot from gout).
And the greatest thing about mystery meat? Every culture in the world has its own unique take on the stuff. Mystery meat is a thing worldwide because every culture has to find a use for all the trimmings, and shavings, and sweepings that would otherwise go to waste. And who can live with all that wasted meat…product…on their conscience?
Not me, that’s who. I see it as my tourist-traveling duty whenever in a new culture to sample their best mystery meats. Whether they be linked, canned, or pressed, I’ve sampled mystery meats from Europe, Asia, the Indian Subcontinent, Africa, and North America.
My personal favorite? Vienna Sausage. I know, it’s commercial, but I grew up with the stuff. And it’s just so salty…and slimy…and yet it has a pleasant, little snap to it.
As for my one-paragraph summary on all the rest: I’ve never been a big fan of Menudo, but I had some great mystery-meat soup in Kiev during the summer of ‘95. I’ve not tried blood pudding or haggis. I can eat the hotdog prepared 100 different ways, and yet I can’t go in for the fishy mystery, no matter the culture. (I often wish I could, but seafood and I have a delicate enough arrangement as it is.)
All of this to say, if I ever write a travel guide, I’m going to title it, “Solving the Mystery Meats of the World.” And exactly 18 other people will think it the best travel book ever written, while three puke before they can finish. I find that an acceptable ratio. After all, if you’re not offending someone, you’re not pushing the edge far enough. (Apologies to my vegetarian and vegan friends out there, but I’m just not sure vegan trash meat is advisable…and now I’ve offended you.)
Chances are, I’ll never write this book, but I hope I get the chance. Mystery meat can tell you so many things about the struggles and trials of a people. Were your ancestors forced to cure everything? Gelatinize it? Many cultural hardships can be traced back and recorded in traditional mystery meats much like the rings of a tree.
Is there a mystery meat lingering fondly in your memories? Maybe Spam salad sandwiches while hiking? Mmmmm, Spam…
All this talk of highly processed meat sweepings is making me hungry. Maybe next week, I’ll share some of my hotdog recipes from my unpublished cookbook, “Father of the Grill.”
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At the Desk This Week
Life is continuing to shift and twist and turn, for all of us I’m sure. This week I’ve taken on a new freelance gig that has become a bit urgent. I’m crushing out the work to store up some nuts for the long winter. Then it will be back to my beloved fiction writing.
At least my mind has had a chance to wonder into some more creative topics over this last week. And getting my brain back into the creative groove is more important than getting my ass back into the seat. I love hearing from all of y’all on how you’re adapting and learning and growing throughout the craziness that has become our norm, so please shoot me an email if you’re so inclined.
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