Attention span.
Hmmm, does anyone have any fingernail clippers? Uh…where was I? Oh yeah, attention span.
Making an exception for those of us who have done lots (and I mean lots) of drugs, attention span seems to have been on a steady decline for at least the last few decades. In college, I had a friend nicknamed Zoot based on the Muppet character who would from time to time “skip a groove.” One of the wife’s very early roommates was known for a famous bit of dialogue that typified the remaining functionality of her brain. It went, “Does anyone have any fingernail clippers? Wait, was that a hawk or an eagle?” Previous to this disjointed outburst, the discussion could have been about anything from breakfast to anatomy. Immediately after the outburst the conversation would return to its previous topic.
So, having made an exception for those of us whose attention span may have taken an evolutionary leap due to psychotropic experimentation, let us consider the rest of the human population by taking an example from the animal kingdom.
Recently, I confessed my coming out as a “pet person” based on my growing affection for our family bunny, Dynamite (or as I call him, Dynamighty or Dy-no-might). As I nursed the scrawny little guy back from near G.I. stasis a few weeks ago, I became aware of an example of attention deficit that struck me a bit too close to home.
Rabbits have to eat regularly to keep their gastrointestinal tract from shutting down. And when they suffer a blockage from eating a ton of cardboard or from swallowing too much of their own fur (both of which our Dynamite seems to be quite adept at), the last thing they feel like doing is eating more. And yet they need fluids to flush ‘em out and nutrients to survive.
All of this meant that for over a week, I made sure Dynamite ate something green and moist every few hours. (Say it with me: “Moist.” That’s right, I fear no word. Now where was I?) During my stint as Dynamite’s personal gourmet tapas chef, (bringing him tiny, Asian pottery dishes garnished with anything from organic cilantro to lightly oiled and salted kale chips) I recognized a pattern in his behavior. If I used a dropper to force feed him liquified hay he would get pissed off and chew up whatever he could get his teeth on. He would pee on me and in general show his disdain for the entire process.
If I instead set the dish down on a folded towel in front of the entertainment center in the living room (Dynamite is free-roaming and litter box trained), he might eat some of it or he might not. If I bring the dish over to where he is laying, he’s more likely to eat it. If I lay down on the floor and personally feed him each bite by holding it out for his consideration, he’ll eat the whole thing…before eventually settling back down on the rug with his butt in my face.
I don’t know. There might be several factors at play here. Maybe attention is only one of them. But as exhibit B, I present to you his mesh hay ball. For Christmas, I made Dynamite a wire-mesh ball, hung it from the bottom of the plant stand beside his feeding area, and stuffed it with hay. Please note that his regular box of hay is kept approximately three feet further away in the corner of the living room right next to his latrine (ie. pooper box). So before the mesh ball, he had to hop three feet from his water bowl and tapas dish in order to snack on his organic Timothy hay.
You want to know what I’ve discovered? If I stuff the mesh ball with fresh hay on a daily basis, he will happily triple his daily hay intake. Seriously? It’s like three feet with nothing but rug spanning the distance. It’s almost like he’s telling me that the hay somehow tastes better when it’s suspended in the air…or that his neck was getting sore from having to bend down to eat.
But no. I think it’s lack of attention! One moment, he’s laying on the rug thinking about how his stomach doesn’t feel so good. What about that annoying hangnail? And what does a bunny have to do to be hand fed some organic cilantro around this place? Sheesh. The next thing you know, he catches a glint of sunlight off of his dangling hay ball and thinks to himself, hmmm, a fiber-filled snack of Timothy hay would pass the time. Moments later, he’s got hay dust all over his face and he’s bouncing to the beat of the dinnertime soundtrack emanating from Alexa (I respect our Amazon overlords). It’s a bunny rave.
Can it be that simple? Could this be the solution to our constant distraction as harried individuals flittering from one unhealthy behavior to another? I’m going to give it a try. This weekend, I’m gonna get me sons to help me construct a series of wire mesh balls filled with healthy, fulfilling items. Then we’re gonna dangle them around the house in areas where we frequently get distracted or lose focus. Booyah. I sense the dawn of a new day.
At the Desk This Week
I’m currently searching for large scale purpose and reason in life. So I’ve been wandering around helping strangers and such. Just seeing if I can be offensively helpful and see if it leads to any entertaining trouble of a purposeful sort. So far, I’ve learned that most real people aren’t engaged in political hooha. They’re just trying to survive the grind. All that to say I’ve been avoiding my desk lately in an effort to connect with the real world. I’ll keep all those interested in the loop.
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