“It is what it is.”
If you’re anything like me (and let’s hope you’re not), this phrase sends a jolt of self-righteous, pedagogic vitriol through your veins. Of course the phrase is linguistic nonsense. I suppose that’s the point. That does nothing to comfort me when I hear it bantered about as some sort of magic conversation eraser or end-all statement of debate wizardry. I mean, what are you gonna do? It is what it is.
It’s like responding to someone’s thoughtful sentiment with the lingual equivalent of chimpanzees flinging poo. Imagine the scenario:
“And then my husband rolled his eyes and walked away,” I said as a tear escaped the corner of my eye.
“Hey, it is what it is,” my sister responded while picking her teeth.
Hmmm, it is what it is, huh? You know my response to that? How about I put my finger up your nose? Or my foot to your backside? Is that what it is? What’s your response now, genius?
Ehem, I beg your pardon, dear reader. I seem to have lost my writerly composure. I’m not sure what happened. I suppose it is what it is. I mean to say, you get what you get. It all depends on what your definition of is is… but I digress.
From this point forward, I’m beginning yet another nonsensical campaign for the purpose of raising semantical awareness in regard to the outrageously offensive phrase, “It is what it is.” The main thrust and objective of the campaign is simple. Every time you encounter the phrase, “It is what it is” in everyday conversation, counter the phrase with this response. “It ain’t what it ain’t.” And then give a little eyebrow raise that suggests you’ve just said something earth-shatteringly brilliant that might possibly be beneath the comprehension level of your conversation partner.
I’m not saying you punch them beneath the belt and run away chittering gleefully like a little schoolboy. I’m simply suggesting a little nod-is-as-good-as-a-wink elbow to the ribs combined with a wry smile. Inspire discomfort and awkwardness. Do this often enough and it will begin to be like the experiment where the white mouse receives a shock every time it goes for the sugary treat. The individual may not understand why they start to twitch and shy away whenever they think of the phrase, “It is what it is.” But the results will become inevitable.
Every time they begin to think of the expression their fight or flight response will kick into overdrive. Their pours will begin to sweat. Their face will flush. After a brief pause, you’ll repeat your previous thought but tack on the leading phrase, “can you believe it?” Finally, your conversation partner, still at a slightly heightened level of panic, will thoughtfully respond, “that must have been really terrible for you.”
And the world will be that much closer to becoming a thoughtful and loving place. Don’t think of this campaign as sadistic and vengeful. Think of it as a righteous and holy semantic cause. By lovingly yet firmly correcting each and every use of this caustic and flippant expression, we’re making the world a better place. Because, as we all know, the world ain’t what it ain’t.
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