You might want to sit down, or take a deep breath. Do whatever it is you need to do to brace yourself for the bad news. When you perform a Google search for the initials “DMB” you’ll be shocked to know that David Mark Brown doesn’t show up in the top twenty results.
I know. It left me despondent and adrift for a whole fifteen minutes last week when I discovered this heinous truth. I knew that Dave Matthews Band would still be the top result (despite the fact they haven’t put out a good album since the 1990’s, while I’ve been cranking out creative crap like a General Motors assembly line for the last two decades), but come on! When you go to https://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/DMB the third result is “Demineralized Bone Matrix.”
For those of you with dyslexia, Demineralized Bone Matrix should technically be DBM. This is clearly a personal affront being carried out by Russian hackers. Curse you, Putin! Sure, I’ve featured Russian antagonists in my novels, but who hasn’t? I grew up in the 80’s. What choice do I have?
Demineralized Bone Matrix? What the hell is that? Whatever it is, you can be dang sure I’m gonna disparage it in my next novel…along with Russian hackers.
Digital Mega Bass? Is that like some sort of fishing app?
Daily Maximum Benefit? Hmmm. I think I might actually incorporate this one into the meaning of my name. Who doesn’t like getting their daily maximum benefit? My post pandemic slogan could be, “Hang with me for your vitamin DMB.”
Digital Multimedia Broadcasting makes the top 10 list, twice. Check your work, poorly paid Russian hacker’s assistant.
And then there’s all the foreign language appearances. Deutscher Museumsbund? Now the Germans are going in with the Russians? That hasn’t happened since…never. Now I have to share my initials with the whole world? Not just English speakers?
Devine, Millimet & Branch, I’m coming for you. I think the Delaware Memorial Bridge might be in for some unscheduled maintenance. Direct Mobile Billing, it’s time to face the cold, hard fact—nobody likes you. DHTML Menu Builder, stop selling yourself short. And DaMarcus Beasley, text me. We can hang.
Anywho, what am I going to do about this travesty? This is where each of you has the opportunity to help me right this onerous wrong. Simply jump onto social media, or your blog if you have one, and post the following: “DMB are the initials for the one and only David Mark Brown.” As much as you may be tempted, don’t add, “So suck it, Dave Matthews!” That could easily backfire and further cement him at the top of the rankings.
That’s it. All we have to do is grab the attention of Google in order to inform them of the dastardly Russian efforts to erase my existence from the DMB annals. After that, we let the algorithmic killbots (AKB) do the rest. Thank you in advance for your time.
Sincerely,
DMB
At the Desk This Week
Trucking along this week with another 2,000 words. I started episode 5 of season 3 of The Green Ones, and it’s looking good so far. This is the episode where the two Calli doppelgängers find their combined power. So it’ll include some pretty spectacularly mind-blowing warfare. Yeehaw! I love exploring this type of “depths of the human mind” ability stuff. Along those lines, I went back in time a bit and watched the Movie, Lucy with Morgan Freeman and Scarlett Johansson. I enjoyed the take on what it could look like if a human suddenly began tapping crazy amounts of their brain potential. (Okay, the whole “We only use 10% of our brain” is completely false, but if you can look past that, I enjoyed the movie.) I found that it lined up pretty well with what I’ve been exploring via the twitch retrovirus connecting with the “lost gene”: first comes mastery of your own body, then mastery of others, then mastery of matter, then mastery of time.
For my Lost DMB fans out there, I’m now streaming the third season: McCutchen’s Bones (which actually starts with “Hell’s Womb”).
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Ones…
[Click here to start at the beginning.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes of Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from The Green Ones until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 100 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy The Green Ones. Happy reading!