DMB Digest: Stop Suffering Unplugged
Join LOTDR today!
I think I’m gonna start a support group: Loved Ones of Those with Digital Rizzock (LOTDR). Do you, or anyone you love, suffer from indiscriminate disdain from all things electronic and/or digital? If so, you need LOTDR.
Have you ever had this experience?
Loved one: [calls from other room] The such and such is on the fritz again. I think we need a new one.
You: [shaking head and rolling eyes] Stop. Just don’t touch it. I’ll be right there.
Loved one: It’s not working. I tried everything. It just keeps giving me the—(fill in the blank with the “bleepy eye” or the “spiral of doom” or whatever.)
You: Hold on. Let me look at it. [You arrive and take over the matter.] Just stand back.
Loved one: I am standing back.
You: Well, uhh, just let me worry about it. [Trying to come up with tactful way to get loved one to leave the room.] Why don’t you take a load off. You look tired.
Loved one: [sees right through your veiled dismissal] Fine. I’ll be in the kitchen.
You: [After the loved one leaves the room, you gently tap the electronic device and boot it up. Everything works perfectly. You wait another thirty seconds.] Okay. It’s working fine now.
Loved one: [storms back into room] How did you fix it? It wasn’t even coming on.
You: Oh, uh, [stalling] I think the batteries must have been loose, or the cord was loose… uh, no biggie.
This is a regular occurrence in my household, and it is a textbook example of what has become recognized as digital rizzock. (Not to be confused with what the kids call rizzy rizz these days.) Back in my day, you had mojo, or you had rizzock. Mojo you want. Rizzock you do not. (Disclosure: It’s possible I made up the word rizzock back in 1995.)
You may have guessed by now, but in my household it is the Wife that suffers from this heinous digital rizzock. So far, modern science has come up with a big, harry bupkis as to why digital rizzock inflicts some while bypassing others. (As far as I know, science isn’t even aware of the phenomena. I’ve never mentioned it. So, unless you have…)
We are left with sheer speculation. Is it caused by some sort of aura? Bad Feng Shui? Have certain people run amok of our robot overloads along another timeline or in a parallel dimension? The world may never know.
But if you are tired of pulling perfectly good remote controls or other electronic devices out of the garbage and coming up with excuses as to why they work now…If you’ve grown exhausted by the need to restart your computer every time your loved one borrows it to check their email…if even your children know better than to let your loved one touch the entertainment center…then LOTDR is for you! [Disclaimer: The support organization for Loved Ones of Those with Digital Rizzock does not actually exist. Every attempt to create a website for said organization has ended in mysterious frustration.]
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Ones…
[Click here to start at the beginning.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes of Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from The Green Ones until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 100 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy The Green Ones. Happy reading!