So I was listening to a podcast, and it turns out this really smart guy was really impressed by all the stuff he had figured out over the years—specifically about relationships. He stated the matter very scientifically using a lot of jargon and stats… that I mostly tuned out. Let me boil it down for you in the typical male fashion. (Or at least in my typical fashion by removing all the B.S. added for the purpose of sounding novel/clever. As they say, “Takes one to know one.”)
It turns out men are less emotionally advanced than women on the whole, and as a result we expect less out of relationships. If you are male, it may also surprise you to know that women have known this for a very long time. I know! When were they planning on telling us? Oh right, they tell us all the time, and we tune them out.
But in the defense of men, it is way easier to have healthy relationships when you set the bar low. And who doesn’t want healthy relationships? I can watch a football game with a buddy. We can share a brew and some BBQ. And you know what? We’ll come away from that time feeling heard, feeling rejuvenated, feeling restored. And why not? BBQ and football are restorative things. At least they are for (most) men.
And that, apparently, is the big differentiator. Men’s appetites are physical in nature, and therefore more concrete. As it should be. The crazy thing is that women apparently have this whole other layer of needs! For stuff like emotional and relational fulfillment. So it turns out all the blah, blah, blah actually has a therapeutic role. I thought it was just because the wife didn’t like BBQ and football, and thus all the conversation was some misguided effort to alight on some other topic of common interest…which always defaults to the kids…because there isn’t a common interest. (I kid, I kid! We both like…stuff.)
For most of us men, this is probably too much woo-woo to handle without a brisket sandwich (at the very least). That’s totally normal. I’m thinking about the NFL playoffs as I type this. So I’ll keep it simple. In summary, men are more satisfied in life because they don’t care. But men also find added layers of depth and enrichment by associating with (and listening to) women. It’s possible we are all better off when we invest in relating well to each other. It’s possible. Maybe. I don’t know. I need some BBQ…and a Dallas Cowboys podcast. How the heck we are finally gonna win a playoff game, I have no idea.
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