This may not be a timely message, with the summer cookout scene all but over. Seeing how I revealed my Texas heritage last week, I figured this was the time to get a few things off my chest. Don’t worry, while I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, I won’t subject you to any of the bizarre and politicized mayhem of the current National Football League. Not this week, anyhow.
Mainly, these are educational tips that will help you navigate our strange world a little more effectively (especially when you encounter the oft-misunderstood Texan in the wild).
First off…I’m just gonna come out and say it…grilling meat does not a BBQ make. Come on now. BBQ is not a catch all term for anything you cook on a grill. A hamburger is not BBQ! (Not even if you put BBQ sauce on it.) A hotdog, for the love of god, is not BBQ. I’m not gonna go into the nuances or regional arguments about what constitutes good barbecue. I’ll simply say, at the most basic level, it’s a cooking method. BBQ and grilling are DIFFERENT cooking methods.
All of this is for your own benefit. If you invite a Texan (or just about any Southerner) over to your house for BBQ, and then heaven forbid you offer said individual a grilled beef patty, that person will have no choice but to lump you into the category of people not to take seriously in matters pertaining to the culinary arts, outdoor survival, pro or college sports, and beard maintenance.
You may think this leap-to-conclusions be unfair, but it is what it is. While the grilling/BBQ faux pas is the worst that can be made, I’ll mention a couple more briefly. Don’t mispronounce words like fajita, tortilla, and jalapeño…unless you’re a native to Texas or Mexico (or maybe some place like New Mexico that might make good Mexican food as well). If you are eating something with strips of meat in it, and you pronounce it similarly to the word “vagina” that’s an appetite killer.
Along those same lines, don’t confuse Mexican food with Tex-Mex, or worse yet, Cali-Mex. These are by no means the same thing. Tex-Mex has no room for fish tacos. They are an abomination. If the word “fresh” is in the name of the restaurant, you can be damn sure it ain’t Tex-Mex. If there is a vegetable in my Mexican food, and it ain’t pickled, I ain’t interested. (I don’t consider shredded iceberg lettuce, peppers, onions or tomatoes to be vegetables.)
Last but not least, no matter how you feel about Taco Bell, please reserve a separate category for such establishments. Taco Bell should not be considered Mexican food any more than Pizza Hut should be considered Italian. If you take the above advice into consideration, along with wearing welding gloves, you should be just fine if/when you deem it necessary to relate with Texans.
At the Desk This Week
Nothing to see here. Move along. It’s virtual fall break for my kids partially virtual schooling. On top of that, I’m helping some friends paint the interior of their house… after they evicted some renters. Enough said about that.
It’s been an odd stay-cation sort of week. Back to the writing routines next week!
I also didn’t manage to clean up any insider information for you in regards to the Green Ones or the Schism 8 Universe this week. I will attempt to include the rules for my fictional game of Ōllamaliztli by NEXT week.
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Ones…
[Click here to start at the beginning.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes of Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from The Green Ones until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 100 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy The Green Ones. Happy reading!