DMB Digest: The Conspiracy Burr
The splinter in your mind...
Conspiracy theories are so much fun. My favorite part of any good conspiracy theory is the “olympian stretch.” You know the part. It’s where you go from some claim that is at least partially substantiated to some outrageous conclusion that is offered at surface value as if it is obviously the only conclusion to be made from the afore mentioned somewhat substantiated claim.
Allow me one of my favorite examples. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. There is this blurry photo of a geometric looking structure on the dark side of the moon…wait, no, not the pyramid of the moon. No, not the tower on the moon. I’m talking about the cube-looking structure—the moon cube, or as Chinese authorities have dubbed it, the “mysterious hut.” Assuming the photographic evidence hasn’t been fabricated, there appears to be a somewhat cubic feature on the surface of the moon. That alone is at the very least mildly curious. Not that cubes don’t naturally appear on earth or anything like that. But, as far as we can tell, this moon cube is a one-of-a-kind anomaly on the surface of the moon. That’s kind of cool, right?
Then comes the “olympian stretch,” my favorite part of any conspiracy theory. Now that we’ve proven this “mysterious hut” is in fact a real thing, there is no avoiding the dark reality that it is a soul-recycler put there by the lizard people to capture our escaping souls, feast upon their negative energy, and force them to reincarnate upon earth again and again. Clearly. It’s like, how did I not see that before? It’s so obvious. What else could a moon cube be?
Or to use another lunar example, how about the time the moon “rang like a bell” on November 20, 1969, when Apollo 12 deliberately crashed the ascent stage of its lunar module onto the moon's surface? Okay. Clearly sections of the moon’s interior are less dense than we thought, or are even potentially hollow. That much we can at least support with some evidence. Now comes the olympian stretch. A hollow moon clearly reveals extra-terrestrial origins. I mean, obviously it’s a ship placed in earth orbit at the same time the earth was seeded with our ancestors by an alien race. What else could it possible mean!? When has there ever been naturally occurring hollow spaces in rock? Without those spaces being extra-terrestrially engineered flying machines of epic proportion? Huh? Can you think of a time? Of course not. Don’t be silly.
How about Tesla? The dude clearly invented wireless technology decades ahead of his time. I mean, he demonstrated how to light up a freaking light bulb from like yards away! It’s documented, historical fact. He therefore had rediscovered the same limitless free power demonstrated by the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza. It’s so obvious! If not for the corruption and greed of J.P. Morgan and his ilk! For the love of God and Mother Earth!? Why must we continue to ignore the obvious truth when it’s right there under our noses?
When will we learn to stop trusting world governments when they tell us our current version of the combustion motor can’t possibly be improved upon and there is no such thing as a more efficient carburetor capable of sustaining 200 miles per gallon? Oh wait, that last one wasn’t meant to be sarcastic. That’s a real thing.
Alas, these conspiracy theories prove humans still long for a universe full of mystery and wonder. It’s a shame we can’t come up with any other way to see the wonder all around us, so we resort to blaming the powers-that-be for suppressing it. The truth is, we’re the problem. We’ve propped up said powers, sacrificed our sense of wonder and adventure in exchange for satiation and security. Discovery is energizing, but also destabilizing. And destabilization is the last thing governing authorities and the ruling class want (unless we’re talking about war lords. In that case, stabilization is the destabilization).
So if you look around and find yourself tired of the status quo, take a moment to look a little deeper. Can you find something beautiful beneath the tearing fabric of your society? See a problem you have the skill set to address? Focus on the burr beneath your saddle. Stop ignoring it long enough to acknowledge its reality. Believe you can do something to make it better. And then do it.
From the Desk of DMB
The food pantry I volunteer for just inaugurated its new warehouse facility. We moved from a little 800 square foot home to a 8000 square foot warehouse that’s basically a small grocery store full of free groceries for those who can’t afford to eat. We serve over 1,000 people a week in a city of 100,000. Sorry for all the math. But I Find it both awesome and terrifying. America has problems. Many of those problems are getting worse. Ignoring them won’t make them go away. Addressing the symptoms (like food scarcity) won’t either. But it’s a start. As I ponder my next writing project, this is the kind of stuff bouncing around in my head. How can I use the gift of storytelling to entertain and at the same time to enlighten?
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