If you don’t have kids, you can’t judge (but you can laugh your butt off). If you are new to the parenting rodeo, these next posts are my parenting guide to you…the guide that no one else will be forthwith and transparent enough to offer. If you’re a savvy veteran, a wink and a nod is all we need exchange.
Ideally, marriage should be a match of equals—an upward spiral of outdoing each other with gifts and gratitude. Why is this the case? Because the nasty little monsters produced and/or sheltered by matrimonial unions will do everything in their power to tear us down if they smell weakness. (My hat off to all you weary souls who have had to fight the parental fight solo. I don’t know how you do it.)
Back in the old days, breaking a horse and raising a kid were pretty much the same…with the exception that human children were (and continue to be) much more wily and cunning. In an era when raising your voice in the supermarket can lead to onlookers dialing 9-1 and then daring you to give them a reason to dial 1 again, what are parents to do?
Here is what it all boils down to. Kids need to know in their heart of hearts that they are loved. Parents need their kids to grow up to be better people than themselves. The unvarnished truth is that manipulation and bribery constitute the double barrels of parenting that will get all of us to where we want to be.
When the wife and I were wet-behind-the-ears with our oldest son, we struggled through what has become known as “The Green Bean Fiasco.” Our son was not quite three years old. (Our youngest was still a bun in the oven.) One evening our oldest decided he no longer liked green beans. Being naive, we demanded he finish his green beans before being allowed to eat anything else. He promptly went on a food strike for the rest of the evening…and the next morning…and through lunchtime the next day.
Twenty-four hours into the fiasco, he showed no signs of relenting. By golly, we weren’t gonna back down either. Luckily, the wife and I had scheduled a date night that evening which required us to leave our son with my sister.
My sister later recounted that minutes after our departure, she pulled the mushy bowl of green beans from the refrigerator and placed them on the table in front of our oldest son. He pondered the legalities of his predicament, determined that eating green beans from his aunt provided the necessary win/win loophole, and promptly inhaled the green beans before making up for lost time on an unsuspecting chicken.
In the case of “The Green Bean Fiasco,” we stumbled blindly into victory. The episode taught me a thing or two about using manipulation as a parent. The key lesson? It ain’t about winning or even looking good while losing. Parenting is about results. I want my kids to eat healthy stuff. I want my kids to learn how to fail, how to push themselves, how to succeed. I want them to learn delayed gratification. I want them to be afraid…and then to conquer those fears. I want them to beat me and then go on to better things. These goals must be achieved while I hold the psychological advantage (my brain ain’t getting any more nimble).
Fast forward ten years beyond “The Green Bean Fiasco,” and we land face-first in the year 2020—a year I have no doubt my sons will remember forever. This will be a formative year for all of us, but for kids especially. The wife and I know we need to step up big. That’s why this year “Santa Brings a Switch.”
[To be continued…]
At the Desk This Week
While I haven’t gotten a ton of writing done this week, it’s been exciting stuff. I’m really happy with a couple of twists that I figured out. One will impact the ending of the last episode in the current season of the Green Ones. The other is totally shaking up episode four of the current season. I figured out the missing sauce that will finally push the whole season over the top. Man, this process has been clunky. I’m definitely out of practice, and I’m still adjusting to writing around 10 hours a week as opposed to 40 hours. It turns out that part-time writing will require me to alter my planning/outlining method a bit.
I hope winter is full of wonder wherever you are! (We still have a couple months before shaking our fist at the grey skies and frozen windshields.)
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Ones…
[Click here to start at the beginning.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes of Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. I’ll be publishing FREE daily scenes from The Green Ones until…I die…or something terrible happens. Seriously, I’ve got over 100 scenes written so far, and I’ll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, I’d be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoy The Green Ones. Happy reading!