DMB Digest: Top 10 Stupid Things I Survived, #5
Driving the Bald-Tire Battle Tank
[Follow these links to catch up with theĀ #10 stupid thing,Ā #9 stupid thing,Ā #8 stupid thing,Ā #7 stupid thing, and #6 stupid thingĀ I survived growing up in Texas.] Is anything better than being a teen driver? How about being a redneck teen driver? Better yet, a redneck teen driver in a 1978 K-5 hard-top Chevy Blazer Cheyenne 4x4 outfitted by a before-his-time prepper to be a mountain compound survival vehicle?
Oh, baby. It doesnāt get any stupider than that. What am I saying? Of course it does. Let me count the ways.
First off, we all know that truck tires are expensive. Combine that truth with a tendency for rapid accelerating and a penchant to spend money on anything other than new tires and the result is a Blazer with four extremely bald tires. Now put that Blazer with extremely bald tires in Texas and make me the driver. Yeah, now weāre talking stupid. I spun off the exact same exit ramp (in the exact same spot) of I-20 on two separate occasions. Both times I ended up in the ditch while facing the wrong direction. I spun ninety degrees the first time and a cool two-hundred and seventy degrees the second before perfectly sticking the landing just short of the fence line. No harm, no foul.
If youāve never driven a vehicle with bald tires during the heat of a Texas summer you may not understand the delicate dance that is sometimes required to stay on the road and out of the ditch. When the oils from the blacktop start to ooze and liquify just a bit only to be topped off with rain from a short thunder-boomer the result is slicker than snot combined with mushed-up tarantulas.
My final slip-n-slide off the road shook me up enough so as to motivate me to save my money for new tires. This one occurred in town. Now, when I say āin townā I mean along the tiny strip of buildings populating both sides of the railroad tracks in my home town of Aledo (population 1,300 at the time). Allow me to paint the picture. The main road through town (heading south) tops the tracks before a short decent that leads into a quick āSā curve and then meanders past the elementary school.
When coming from the other direction (heading north), ascending the subtle grade to the top of the tracks requires just a bit of acceleration out of the āSā curve. Did I forget to mention that on the west side of the road thereās a Gulf gas station with the pumps just a few yards off the road? And that it had recently rained? Hmmm, yeah, the rest just paints itself. Itās possible I might have taken the āSā curve a tad bit fast. Tapping the breaks before stepping on the gas for the small climb was apparently the wrong combination. The back tires slipped out from under me like a dog straining for traction on an ice rink.
Rather than try anythingā¦rather than react at all, I simply white-knuckled the steering wheel and waited for the ride to come to a stop. When the time seemed right for stomping the breaks, I did so. It just so happened that the result was my Blazer perfectly parallel with the gas pumps and now facing Southward. The obvious next move was to get out, gas up, and buy a Dr. Pepper. I couldnāt even look the attendant in the eye. To this day, Iām not sure if anyone else even witnessed the event. Iām sure my parents had no clue it happened, until now. (Hi, mom!)
At the Desk This Week
I came up with another fun twist for the final episode of The Green Ones, Season Three this week. It was a bit of a no brainer when it dawned on me. I guess it is not so much a ātwistā as a ācomplicationā that actually makes the plot cleaner. It will be a bit of a fun mind blow for the reader though, I hope. Onward and upward. Iām about halfway through this final episode, so Iām getting closer!
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Onesā¦
[Click here to start at the beginning.]
Thanks so much for taking the time to read these scenes ofĀ Boundaries, Season 2 of The Green Ones. Iāll be publishing FREE daily scenes fromĀ The Green OnesĀ untilā¦I dieā¦or something terrible happens. Seriously, Iāve got over 100 scenes written so far, and Iāll be writing more until the story reaches its natural ending. You are totally welcome to read the entire story for FREE! If at any point you decide you would rather finish the story in ebook or print format, just click the buttons below and you can do that as well. If you enjoy reading the serial releases, BUT you would also like to support me as a writer (my kids need wine!) please subscribe to my premium content for bonus scenes, exclusives, and insider access to my process. And of course, Iād be grateful if you would share this post with any of your reader friends who you think would enjoyĀ The Green Ones. Happy reading!