“Dad, please can you turn on friendly fire? We promise not to kill each other.”
This was the plea from my youngest son last weekend during our session of Minecraft (otherwise known as the gateway game for an entire generation). I took a deep breath, rolled my eyes, and attempted to explain the flaw in my son’s reasoning. “And what will happen the first time you accidentally light your brother on fire with your “fire aspect” sword?
My youngest frowned.
I continued, “And then your cousin goes on a rampage because he can’t find his stack of diamonds?” I try to continue with another example, but my youngest cuts me off.
“Okay, okay, I get it. Never mind.” He focuses on his device in the hopes that I don’t pontificate on what he fears is about to become a teachable moment. I let it pass.
Thus is the ebb and flow of virtual parenting. The wife and I are grateful we live in a neighborhood where we can, at times, kick our boys outside and lock the door. During summers past, the neighborhood kids would form a loose federation of shifting allegiances to provide them with ample opportunity to develop crucial relationship skills. Then came 2020. More than ever, the sandlot has gone on-line. Now, the snow has begun to fly.
When the outside world becomes inaccessible and stress-inducing for our children (ala pandemic, riots, and general unneighborly nastiness), where can parents turn in order to set our kids up for inevitable peer conflict that must be navigated and resolved using their own personal problem solving skills? Like nearly everything else these days, parenting has gone virtual. The most accessible virtual world is of course Minecraft. What other choice did I have?
I paid for a Minecraft Realm subscription (possibly without asking the wife) so that I could craft a virtual world according to my own rules and therefore trick my children into negotiating interpersonal conflicts with their friends and family. But this ain’t my first rodeo. I’m thoroughly familiar with the story of Cain and Able. And no matter how many times you replay that classic, Able gonna die.
Rule numero uno in our virtual world, no friendly fire. Luckily Minecraft allows you to flip a switch, and presto! If Cain wants to kill Able now, he’s gotta figure out some sort of way to drop lava on his head…or push him off a cliff. Crimes of passion are off the table.
The next step, invite some peeps and spawn some conflict in the virtual neighborhood. This step is easier than it sounds. In case you’ve forgotten, people suck, and kids are selfish little monsters.
Fast forward a month and the small claims court of our virtual world is overflowing with multiple cases of trespass, larceny, vandalism, slander, and threats of violence. I’ll admit, I was pretty honked off when my first Mending I book went missing right before I could apply it to my favorite diamond pick. (I mean, Fortune III, Efficiency IV, Unbreaking III, and Mending I is a badass pick.)
As the mayor and chief magistrate, I’ve done my best to hear the grievances via chat and then encourage both parties to find a mutual adventure or task. That’s the thing about Minecraft…and the real world—there’s always common ground if you’re willing to look for it. There are always tasks that can be accomplished better together than apart. There are always skills you lack and skills you can offer to others.
Just like the real world, our virtual world harbors plenty of conflict, fear, and anger. But then there are those moments when my kids come together to defend a village against an illager raiding party, or share the last golden apple, or rescue the other from certain death in the nether after the destruction of the portal by a ghast fireball. And those are the moments that make all the petty squabbling worth while. (Now if only I could figure out who keeps killing our neighbor’s sheep…)
At the Desk This Week
This has been a weird week. I haven’t been able to accomplish any fiction writing. Instead, I’ve been working on a freelance gig that will provide more immediate funds than my fiction. So…no complaints on my part, but I apologize for not having anything fun and creative to report! In many ways, this is the life of a writer. Without multiple streams of income, the revenue lake runs dry pretty quickly.
If You Wish to Start Reading The Green Ones…
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